Hush

I need room,

my brain rattles my skull with white noise

basket case conversations, wastepaper words

I’m tangled in a creative knot

trying to unravel, unwind

my days used to have a beginning and an end

now I can’t recognise either

the markers for awake and sleep keep shifting

weeks bleed into each other around here.

 

I’m tethered to this wi-fi lifeline seven long days a week

ti offers me life signs from cyberspace

where everyone has their finger on the pulse

checking they’re still alive

it makes my head hurt, and destroys my vision

inward and outward

still I’m hooked like a hungry fish

that continues to be surprised at being reeled in

time and time again.

 

I need hush

shush

silence

nothing.

 

I need nothing at all to inspire me

switch off, disconnect

breathe and reflect on nothing

a deep concentration of nothing

I drift out into a sea of nothingness

until I am nothing, going nowhere, thinking nothing

until something comes along out of the blue and stops me

from drowning in the wonderful joy of absolutely nothing.

 

Something worth living for

something that reminds me I’m alive

something that makes me smile

something to unravel me.

 

Like those days when we laughed and danced

campfires and guitars

those nights when we talked till we lost track of time

like those years when everything filled our eyes with wonder

hopscotch and skipping ropes

ice-cream and bubble-gum

discos and celebrations

family, friends-

when the human touch meant something.

 

Shush

hush

silence

let me remember you.

 

No-one Can Hear Your Heartbeat

No-one can hear you talking girl

they have their own dialogues

no-one can hear you breathing

no-one can hear your heartbeat

no-one except you

you stand on the periphery of the social circle.

 

Your sob story sinks you to the lowest rank

we only want the good news today, but

your happiness is too loud to deserve airtime

check in some other day

your world is on the other side of the screen

not here in a social media dream

go away, entertain yourself

go away and fuck yourself

but do something productive.

 

No-one can hear you talking kid

we’re all talking to ourselves

we’re all talking about ourselves

don’t have time for anyone else

I like your funny picture

I glanced at it between rants

I smiled at your meaningful meme

on my way to my inbox

-cynically

 

Hmm no reply

 

I saw you posted music videos

but I don’t know the band

So I won’t listen to it

I won’t waste my time

it’s not Ed Sheeran

no-one can hear you talking mate

no-one can hear you scream

no-one cares when you’re cut up

on the other side of the screen.

 

We can switch you off, report you

block your updates

we get to pick and choose the content

we can edit conversations, delete our guilt

we can deny everything

claim we missed your news

no-one hears your heartbeat stop

no-one here can hear a pin drop.

 

The chatter is too loud

the news feed clouds the view

no-one can hear you weeping babe

no-one except you

this is nothing personal

we hope you understand

we really like you, but we just don’t care

we just don’t care.