Small Steps

I revive myself

nobody else can do that for me

I take small steps

they’ll amount to giant leaps given time

rebuilding my world as I want it to be

with a circle of genuine friends

people who inspire positivity,

embracing our creativity

reliable friends, trustworthy

people who recognise the best in me

as I rebuild my sense of self-belief

tell negative thoughts, hush

so I can hear my own heartbeat

I am worthy of a voice

worthy of being heard

it’s not the whisper

it’s the words.

Open

These bones of broken faith

crushed by the hand of fate

this twisted contorted us.

 

Staring through our mirror world

we sing the same lullaby

a hymn to lost time

we reflect each other’s light

it is just

-another sleepless night

 

where words cascade from my fingertips

letters slide off the pages

swallowed by the pools of black ink

my tears have become.

 

I regret what is past

cannot be undone

these brittle remains

disintegrate as I sip

each sweet word that passes your lips.

 

I need you to sit beside me

read me to the end of the book

leave the last page open.

Caricatures

Sitting in the tavern

waiting for food to arrive

the table next to us

massaging its ego

six people in total

four doing the talking.

 

One of the four, an outrageously camp guy

whose effeminate mannerisms and voice

made him obvious

was the more sensible conversationalist

most the time.

 

Another was a lady with a posh prim English accent

who, over-accentuated words

clearly spoken full of upper-class pomp

she seemed to like to maintain, her idea of personal status

boasting about her education and upbringing

she had an air of self-importance, insulting to watch.

 

The next guy sitting adjacent to her

had a bunch of witty anecdotes

for all occasions, most of it ridiculously unlikely

most likely bullshit

he was one of those ‘popular guy’ types

alpha male, one of the lads

but it kept the conversation fresh

his lies, were well-rehearsed

 

While across the table an American woman

with a blunt, self-righteous humour about her

with an over the top ‘put on’ laughter

painfully embarrassing to listen to

impossible to avoid

the laugh would last for a while and then stop abruptly on cue

it screamed through everyone in the bar

fake as hell, ridiculous

loud as a fog horn

we couldn’t hear ourselves think.

 

When their food arrived

there was peace for a while.

 

The waitress could barely keep a straight face

she tried so hard but she cracked a little.

 

 

 

 

 

Sociopath

 

Whenever I felt your hands delve into my skull

I knew how you needed me most

like putty in your hands; malleable.

 

If you were to reshape the things that make me, me

go in and fix what wasn’t broken, smash up the things you fixed

you needed me; vulnerable.

 

Always acting like the one with all the answers

the first to speak up, last to shut up

you needed me silent; gullible.

 

To play me like a puppet

make me dance at your command

you needed me reliable; agreeable.

 

To validate yourself, in your own hour of weakness

you needed me.