Regrets

Regrets don’t define me

they have a conscience

remind me

refine me

guide me

adjust, redesign me

they find me

walk beside and behind me

they change me for the better

wise me up

shake me awake

shock me real

turn me around

I turn on my heel,

they drop the hints

push me forward

give me reality checks

give me facts

behind the lies

behind the eyes

I’ll never deny them, but

they’ll fuck me up if I repeat them.

Reckoning

The day smothers me

with a kiss of empty of promise

the hours bleed out, from the dawn

sunlight shifts across the sky

casting shade on my sorrow

blinding my eyes so I cannot see

unready for the reckoning to come.

 

My stubborn heart

bends toward the day

seeking a fool’s reward

for seeing through

this list of disappointments

written in solitude.

 

I check the time

seconds tick by

I remain, motionless.

 

A storm rages in my heart

with each breath entering my lungs

a violent pulse moves me

toward the inevitability

of day folding into the earth

In her veil of black.

 

I am paralysed

when the hungry earth

wraps me in her blanket of thorns

cold sweat of the night terror remains

anxiety, rushes through my veins

day pierces the shade.

 

I stare into the light of the sun

unready for the reckoning,

to come.