I started writing poems around circa 1997. The early poems were poor and rapidly churned out without due consideration to the message I wanted to convey. I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder in 1998 and this is a big reason why the early works are so manic and emotionally charged but of a very poor standard (at least I think so) as my mind was a chaotic minefield.
It took a long time, a lot of swapping and changing pills, several hospital stays and endless talking to psychiatrists and nurses before I finally many years later found the correct medication to steady my mood swings enough for me to be able to focus properly, concentrate better, calmly, objectively and honestly, to accept the daily reality check and challenge my delusional thoughts logically.
Now that my poetry reflected the change in state of mind, it was much more than a collection of cathartic outbursts of whimsical fantasy and blind rage.
I was now saying what I needed to say the way I wanted to say it. Hurrah!
The number of poems I write now are considerably fewer than in the early years because I take my time to listen to what I am saying as I write them. I can’t write these days without feeling fully inspired. If there’s no inspiration, there are no words.
I don’t force words, I’m no longer driven to write for the sake of it. I admit the work is still pretty introspective, dark and emotionally driven, but without the mania or depression turning things very very peculiar. I’m actually a lot more confident in my writing these days and hope it will continue to grow with me.
I write because I enjoy the process, I write because I want to touch people with my words. People who may find themselves in there somewhere maybe might relate to the state of mind I was in when I wrote them.
I write to recognise my own voice in the crowd and to reflect on my state of mind, to consider where I stand with my emotions and acknowledge my right to feel them.
I never thought, in the beginning, I’d end up compiling my own books or even sharing the poems on the internet but I have compiled and self-published two collections of poetry ‘Sojourn‘ and ‘Night Owl‘ available through blurb.com and I’m currently working on my third book which has the working title ‘Those Damn Clowns’. I decided to self-publish my work after it was raised in conversation one night that it was selfish to keep creativity all to myself when there are so many other people who might enjoy reading it given half a chance. So there it is…if anyone wants a copy of either of the books please follow the links.
When I’m not writing I like taking photographs, painting, jewellery making, playing guitar, singing, creating digital art and various craft projects.
I am also a big fan of good music in a variety of genres.
In a nutshell, poetry is the written experience of myself but not the only way I’ve found to express myself through good times and bad. Some poems become songs and on rare occasions, I home record them.