I need room,
my brain rattles my skull with white noise
basket case conversations, wastepaper words
I’m tangled in a creative knot
trying to unravel, unwind
my days used to have a beginning and an end
now I can’t recognise either
the markers for awake and sleep keep shifting
weeks bleed into each other around here.
I’m tethered to this wi-fi lifeline seven long days a week
ti offers me life signs from cyberspace
where everyone has their finger on the pulse
checking they’re still alive
it makes my head hurt, and destroys my vision
inward and outward
still I’m hooked like a hungry fish
that continues to be surprised at being reeled in
time and time again.
I need hush
I need nothing at all to inspire me
switch off, disconnect
breathe and reflect on nothing
a deep concentration of nothing
I drift out into a sea of nothingness
until I am nothing, going nowhere, thinking nothing
until something comes along out of the blue and stops me
from drowning in the wonderful joy of absolutely nothing.
Something worth living for
something that reminds me I’m alive
something that makes me smile
something to unravel me.
Like those days when we laughed and danced
campfires and guitars
those nights when we talked till we lost track of time
like those years when everything filled our eyes with wonder
hopscotch and skipping ropes
ice-cream and bubble-gum
discos and celebrations
when the human touch meant something.
let me remember you.